Unexpected to hear

What a great day at the bar! I was happy so much then I found out that my best freind(H) secretly in love with me. I was shock and it is unbelievable.

How could this be? Kanal, one of the best friend told me the whole story about H. H lied to H's Friends that I am H Boyfriend but we are not open.

H told everyone that we are secretly in love but I can flirt around with anyone and H could do as well. What ashame! H lies to much that I couldn't believe how H ruined my life.

The reason why I broke up with SK because of H as well. I can't believe what just happened now. Why should I give up with Sk since I love Sk so much? That's because of my best friend told me to and I am really crazy H.

Now I don't know whether I should hate H or not. Come to think of how fun we were before. I called it a breakeven. I won't tell H that I know about the story H lies but I won't come closer to H again.

I felt sorry to my friend that I count H as my bestfriend and H count me in a different way. H used all the tricks to get me out from the person that I love. I realized it as well but I never thought about it.

But now it is clear. Everyone looks at me like I'm a bad person and I am a promiscupus guy and I don't have love in my heart. I can't change the past or whatever, but it's over now. Since I know about it. H is no longer in my bestfriend list because bestfriend never ruined other life.

Thank you for bring me fun and be there when I am upset but now you took what you gave it in just a second.

Chhin 18/12/2010

Thank you SK (Angel)

First of all, I want to thanks to Sk(Angel) to teach me what I would never learnt from other. I will try to balance my heart and my brain so that I would not hurt anyone or get hurt from anyone.

I want to say I love Angel so much eventhough I was not able to walk into Angel life.

I know that my past was not great or you can call it worst but I know that nothing I could change my past. I hope that I could change my future in a better past.

My brain agreed to be Angel's friend but my heart disagreed with that.

I wish you could be my first love and I could be your last but I know it's not gonna happen eventhough I pray to God that I don't believe in every nights.

There's nothing I wouldn't do to make Angel feel my love, maybe I am harsh and hungry for your love that the stupidity come to into my mind when I am with you.

I am sorry to make you feel upset but you don't have to explain why you can't accept me to be in you life because I know that the reason would not change the fact that you don't love me.

I am not crying but my heart is crying very loud. If I am crying, I wish God could bring me a heavy rain so that no one could ever know how hard I am crying.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow and in the future but now I just want Angel to know that I love Angel so much and I know you still don't understand how I feel about you.

Becoming your friend would be so much painful for me because everytime when I look into your eyes I see how happy you are without me.. and I lie and say I'm happy for you.

Isn't it amzing how a person who was once just a stranger, suddenly meant the world to me. By that I meant the stranger was you Angel.

I am not choosing to be a victim but I'm choosing to learn a lesson . Thank you for giving a chance for having a date with you!!! It starts so great like heaven, but it ends so painful...

Becoming your friend is the only choice that I could stay near you! I am happy for that because I could watch the person I love is happy.

Chhin 16/12/2010 1.58 AM